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Monthly Archives: December 2016

Ways Choose an Effective Parenting Course

Most parenting courses are bound to fail right from the start. Maybe you have tried some of these programs. Maybe you’ve even read about differing parenting styles or techniques only to be disappointed after. In each case you may have felt as though something was just not right with the material.

Here’s why. Almost all parenting courses that are available involve punishments or rewards, quick fixes or even manipulation. However, these types of courses will not work, or at best, they are only a temporary fix to a bigger, root problem.

Addressing the symptoms and not the problems is the easier thing to do. That is the nature of our quick-fix society today. We want things cleared up now, not tomorrow, and we do not like to wait for things to happen.

There is no quick remedy to parenting. And the right thing to do, by addressing the root of the problem, is emotionally exhausting, and can sometimes feel like a relentless test. But, covering up the root of the problem using a band aid like method is not going to fix the problem, just mask its symptoms. Pent up emotions are bound to erupt explosively, and then there is no training in the world that is going to stop it.

With parenting courses that focus purely on the root of the behavior problem, you will be eradicating the problem right at its source. This in turn will help to support your child’s emotions and growth development in a very positive way.

As a parent, we only want what is best for our children, but by simply addressing the symptoms, we are only damaging their chances of a happy childhood and adult life, thus ignoring “what’s best for them”. By giving your children the tools that will allow them to live a happy and good life, you are ensuring that they will respect you as well as others, and their bad behavior will be just a distant memory.

Remember that obnoxious behavior is the direct result of unexpressed fears and emotions and is a buildup of stress that has not been allowed to be expressed adequately. No matter what their age , you will find that it is never too late to learn new ways of listening and connecting with your children.

How to Single Parents on Raising Children

Raising children as a single parent is one of the greatest challenges that most parents who are managing single parent homes face. The reasons for raising such a family may be varied but the main responsibility for such parents is to provide the most suitable home for the children.

As a single parent it is important to provide a positive environment for your children especially in the home. Most children from single families may suffer from a sense of hopelessness and confusion as they try to come into terms with the new living arrangement. It is therefore important that the single parent be as positive as they can so that the children also have a positive attitude about their future. Always encourage your children in all their activities and remind them that the situation is not because of anything they might have done.

Avoid bad mouthing your former husband or partner especially when you are around your children. Always try and be civil when you meet or when they have to take the children to visit them. The most painful thing that a child has to endure is the fighting between their parents because they do not take sides when a relationship disintegrates for one reason or another.

Involve your family and friends in the raising up of your children. Select people that you trust and are also trusted by your children to be role models in their lives as well as provide a sense of family to the children. The friends that you choose will also be able to support you emotionally in case you need to talk to someone about the challenges you are facing as a single parent.

Consistency as a single parent is very important especially in matters of discipline and general home affairs. Single parents need to have a structured way of running the family affairs so that the children are not confused with changing rules now and again. It is okay to be flexible even as you set the rules of the home so that your children can be disciplined and have fun as well.

When it comes to dating, it is important to avoid bringing every date to meet your children as this will confuse them. If possible, let your children interact with all your suitors on a friendship basis for you to be able to assess if they interact well or not before making the relationship permanent.

Tips Parents Giving Advice to Teenager

The short answer to this question is don’t. Now at first glance this probably sounds ridiculous, after all parents have more experience of life and most would agree that a parent’s job is to pass this experience onto their children. But the problem with giving advice is that it’s really just a way of maintaining control. We often cover it up by saying we know what’s best in the situation, we have the experience and knowledge, but in reality what we’re saying is what we want to happen, this is what we want you to do.

Adolescence is a time for learning to self-manage, to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. It’s an essential process if your teen is to become a well-adjusted, fully functioning adult ready for the world at large and a fundamental part of the process is handing over control to your teen.

For most parents this is a really scary thought. They’re concerned about what will happen if they do, that if they give up some control it will mean they lose all control. They’re concerned about what their teen will do or what happens if they get it wrong, in other words they feel a need to protect their teen.

Handing over control at this stage is more about handing over responsibility and accountability on how to do something, not handing over total control. It’s about letting your teen have an involvement in how to solve a particular problem, it’s about teaching them problem solving skills. If you always provide the solution how will they ever learn to do it for themselves?

It’s ok for your teen to get it “wrong”, to make mistakes. You’re teaching them how to self-correct, just as they did when they first learned to ride a bike and kept falling off. Making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process; more learning comes from making mistakes than comes from getting it “right”. How much does it really matter if they don’t get it right first time or choose the best alternative?

Finally, is your solution the best? It’s easy to forget that our children think differently than us when thinking about a solution to a problem. The solution may be the best one for you, but is it the best one for your teen?

Giving advice by telling teens what to do is only one way of passing on a parent’s knowledge, there are other ways of achieving the same outcome and with a higher likelihood of success. it’s how you pass on that experience that makes the difference.

Below are some suggestions on how to get your point across:

1. Ask before you give. Always ask your teen if they want your advice before you start to give it. If they say, “yes please” then go ahead and have your say, if they say “no” respect their decision and keep quiet.

2. Question their intent. If your teen has refused advice , ask them specific questions about how they’re going to handle the situation. Asking questions about smaller parts of the problem is a way to at least get your teen to think about what’s involved.

3. Provide information instead. Directing your teen to a source of information that’s neutral allows your teen access to information without having to agree to your point of view.

4. Give your teen time. Just because your teen hasn’t given you an immediate answer to your question doesn’t mean they’re ignoring it. Give them time to go away and think about the answers.

5. Highlight their qualities. Reminding teens of their strengths will focus their minds on choosing options that make the best of them. Focus on their weaknesses and they’re likely to lose confidence in doing anything.

6. Listen to your teen. Often just listening to your teen without interrupting will show you that you don’t even need to give advice; your teen already has a solution.

Ways Become a More Successful Single Parent

Professionals are there for the purpose of helping you or your child, so don’t be afraid to ask for help It can be hard for all who are involved, when divorce or even death is the reason for becoming a single parent. How the children are coping with the situation should always be a concern, especially if becoming a single parent was recent. When your child starts having problems at school, or changing while at home, it then might be the time for counseling. You can’t overlook your own needs in this area, either. Quite often you will need more than the help of your friends or your family. With help from a good counselor, transitioning to a single life with your child can go smoother for both of you. As you become a single parent, changing careers may be necessary. For the first time, you may need a true career. There are certain jobs that are more practical and convenient for single parents than others. When you kids get home at 3 from school, an average 9 to 5 job may not fit your needs. Think about jobs in the medical profession such as nursing as they¬†often have flexible hours. Working from home with a job such as online marketing, web design, writing or graphics is also an option. As a single parent, you need a job where your schedule can be flexible and provides a steady income source.

As a single parent, entering a relationship with a new person can be difficult. It can be unclear when or if you should introduce your child to this new person. The most appropriate rule of thumb says that your child should not meet people you have just started dating. Problems can come up including your child being upset if the person isn’t a presence in their life for an extended period of time. Introduce your child slowly to those your are in a serious relationship only. Obviously, if someone is going to form a new family with you, then they’ll have to be good with your kids as well.

Though it doesn’t make it any easier to handle, being a single parent nowadays is not an uncommon situation. A positive attitude is key and will help you to deal with everyday challenges. The things we have talked about should help you handle your single parent life. On top of everything, feel free to ask for assistance.